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Wedding Speech Material For June

(June 2016)

June offers up a more hopeful and cheery tone compared to the rest of 2016. Leicester City finally sealed their title after being written off all year, Louis Van Gaal was replaced by Jose Mourinho days after winning the FA Cup, and the weather is becoming a lot more summery as we approach beach bum barbecue season. Conversely we've also got the looming spectre of the EU Referendum hanging over us, Donald Trump has gained the Republican nomination, and an innocent gorilla was shot because of some idiot child falling into the enclosure. But if none of those topics seem suitable, then why not try slipping one of these newsworthy nuggets into your June wedding speech:

  1. "Hilary Clinton has secured the US Democratic nomination for president. For the first time ever, the US might have to become accustomed to there being a woman in charge of all the important decisions. I mention this because today's a bit like that for you, isn't it, (Groom)?"

  1. "With Lee and Mel's whirlwind courtship and marriage I can't help but draw comparisons with young Marcus Rashford - both came out of nowhere to make a huge impact, and we're all praying they've got what it takes to stick it away in Europe this summer."

June also plays host to a broad range of weird and wacky events, including World Egg Day on 10th June, World Fudge Day on 16th June, and World Juggler Day on 17th June. If the wedding lands on any of those dates you've got the perfect excuse to throw in a few surreal comparisons between those subjects and marriage, or alternatively you can try referencing something a little more obvious:

  1. "Of course it's not long until Father's Day is it, and what better present could any dad ask for, than to see his daughter walking down the aisle… of Tesco's with an expensive whisky just for me".

  1. "Liam and Chanice actually depart for their honeymoon the same day Wimbledon starts. Grunting, tight backhanders, short skirts, and constant cries of 'new balls please'… the honeymoon's going to tire poor Liam out!"

If June's topical material doesn't float your boat then as ever we've got a couple of samples for you fresh from our one-liner vault. This week there's a witty yet inoffensive barb for a best man to hurl at the groom, and a slightly edgier quip which could be tailored to fit any member of the speech-making party:

  1. "Sue and Roy. With Steve you did the best with what you had. You've managed to raise a son you can be proud of, and when he couldn't be a good example to others, his failure meant he was at least a lesson to others."

And if you need a quick lesson on how to deliver a wedding speech joke, particularly one whose style is dry and droll, try taking a leaf out of this father's book. The negative comment he makes towards married life is made more overt, less hurtful, and far funnier by his use of slow, considered diction. We've got plenty more examples of great wedding speech delivery archived for our members to access, but for now that's all you're getting. We'll see you again in July for more up-to-date wedding speech silliness.