Lighthearted groom speeches

Making people laugh with your groom speech doesn't necessarily mean acting like a stand-up comic. People will be on your side when you deliver your speech, anyway. Therefore, simple, lighthearted quips and observations will often be enough to bring the house down. The example speeches here show you how to be lighthearted in lots of different scenarios.

The Witty, Unpretentious Groom

(A groom speech that covers everyone who needs thanking, but in a witty, none-too-grating way.)

As the groom, you've got a lot of people to thank for making the wedding happen. But that doesn't mean you have to bore them all to death in the process. This speech covers all bases as far as gratitude is concerned, but it's done in a concise, humorous way that'll ensure people actually listen and take note.

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My new mother-in-law, Carol, has worked long and hard on making this wedding perfect. All the little details, such as these beautiful flowers, were planned by her. My new father-in-law, Alan, meanwhile, has also been wonderful at working on the little touches. Little touches like taking out a second mortgage.

The Groom Who Has Been With the Bride For A While

(A humorous speech for a groom who has been in a relationship with his bride for a considerable amount of time.)

It's finally happened! After years of being together, you're finally making the courageous step into married life. If that sounds like you, this speech is one to consider. In it, the groom makes light of how long it's taken him to tie the knot. This, mixed in with some bona fide emotions of happiness, makes the speech warm, witty, and a definite winner.

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When we announced our engagement, I regret to say that a number of people expressed their concern as to whether we were doing the right thing. The general feeling was, having only been together fifteen-and-a-half-years, we might be rushing into things. On the other hand, certain family members – my mother included – expressed their surprise when they received a wedding invitation. She and many others thought that myself and Linda were already married, and that they'd merely drunk too much at the reception.

The Groom Who Met His Bride At Uni

(A sure-fire audience-pleaser, telling the story of how the bride and groom met at university. Can easily be adapted to suit your own situation.)

Audiences love to hear (suitable) stories about the bride and groom, especially ones about how they met. In this case, the groom met his match at university. The key to recalling an anecdote like this is to keep it short, and add a dash of humour where possible. Remember to name-check everyone else who has made today special for you as well.

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We met for this first time at the university launderette. You probably think that's a pretty unremarkable venue, but I know it was fate. It must have been – it was the only time I washed my own clothes.

The Witty, Self-Financed Groom

(A speech from a groom who has financed the wedding along with his wife. It cracks a few jokes around this theme, but doesn't harp on about it.)

If everyone's enjoying a good knees-up on your credit card, there's nothing wrong with making a remark or two about this – just make them tactful remarks! Once the guests at large have been acknowledged, the groom gets down to mentioning individuals. This speech even mentions the vicar, although you don't have to.

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Good evening everyone, I hope you're all having fun. Though perhaps I can't be relied on for much, I like to think people can count on me for two things. One – I know how to throw a good party. Therefore, you're all under orders from me to have a good time this evening. Secondly – I don't like paying for things. So please make the most of this very rare occasion.

The Mild-Mannered Groom Who Honours A Deceased Relative

(A witty, punchy speech that pauses to honour the bride's deceased father, before closing on a toast to the bridesmaids.)

If you're a groom who is known for his sense of humour, let it shine through in your speech. That's exactly what the groom does in this example, cracking jokes left, right and centre. He has some sensitive material to deliver too (namely honouring the bride's deceased father), and does so with appropriate dignity. Remember to finish your speech on a high note. Toasting the bridesmaids is a customary way of doing so.

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Good evening. I’d like to start by thanking you all for coming… especially you, Linda.

The Groom Who Ticks Every Box

(A speech that is sincere, touching, humorous and memorable. This one's a sure-fire winner with bride, family and friends alike.)

A groom has a lot on his plate during his wedding day, and the speech can be one massive portion of pressure. That doesn't have to be the case though. This speech is a masterclass in striking the balance between sincere and humorous, emotional and entertaining. It also pays tribute to all the people who have made this day special for you, in particular the bride. Follow these guidelines, and you've nothing to fret about!

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Thank you Alan for your kind words. Now here's a little trivia for you all – the best-received after dinner speech of all time was to an audience of just one, and consisted of only five syllables. It was made by a husband who had just finished eating with his wife and it went: ‘Leave those, I'll do them.’

The Irreverent Groom

(A snappy, witty speech that cracks jokes all over the place, but doesn't neglect to pay tribute to the wedding's main players, not least the bride.)

From the off, this speech is sharp, but it isn't lacking sentimentality either. People love a 'how they first met story'; don't be afraid to embellish this with humorous situations. This is a versatile template that can easily be adjusted to suit any groom speech situation.

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Our romance was a whirlwind one. I sent Linda flowers, boxes of chocolates and champagne. We ate in fancy restaurants, went to the theatre, then spent a weekend in Paris. Yes, it was a memorable first date, and I couldn't afford to take Linda on a second one for some time afterwards.

The Cheeky Groom

(A brassy groom speech that pokes fun at the excesses of weddings and wedding planning, without risking offending anyone who's been involved.)

Everyone knows that weddings can be painful for the finances. If that's something you (and other people who have forked out for the wedding) are comfortable joking about, it can be a really funny subject. But this isn't all about you bringing down the house – parents and others who have helped out get their dues in this speech as well.

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I understand there was a bet on whether Alan would have tears in his eyes when he walked Linda down the aisle. Alan did indeed have tears in his eyes, but I'm informed that was because his bank manager had just been screaming at him down the phone.

The Informal Groom Who Honours A Deceased Relative

(A comical speech that will bring down the house with laughter, but which also tactfully addresses the subject of a deceased relative.)

The groom in this speech is accustomed to making people laugh, and crams his speech with gags. The jokes in this example can easily be adapted to be relevant to your own situation. Making light of the wedding itself (tactfully, mind) often goes down well. In this scenario, the bride's father is no longer alive. The groom refers to this in a soft, affectionate way. He then continues the speech, ending on a lighter note.

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Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. Wedding protocol requires the bridegroom's speech to be coherent, amusing and well-rehearsed. I sincerely hope no one here is going to judge me against those unreasonable standards.

The Witty, Sincere Groom

(A light-hearted groom speech that ingeniously pays homage to various people, while cracking the odd harmless joke at their expense.)

If you're known as a lovable rogue with a sparkling sense of humour, this may well be the speech for you. As groom, you acknowledge everyone who has put the work into making this a memorable occasion, but you do so with the odd twist of sarcasm. If you've got the personality to deliver it, this speech is both innocuous and hilarious.

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This has been the best day of my life. I've married the girl of my dreams, and from now on I plan to cherish every single moment with her. Not only that, there's a free mini bar in my room! [To bride] Did you get a free mini bar in your room?

The Groom With A Child From A Previous Relationship

(A witty, touching speech that mentions all the necessary people, and spotlight's the groom's child from another relationship.)

Are you a groom with a child from a previous relationship? It's always nice to mention your children in the speech, especially if they're going to play a big part in the bride's life too. The example here talks of the groom's son, cleverly suggesting that in fact HE is the luckiest man, as he'll get to spend more time with the bride than the groom will! Pull off heartfelt and funny, and the audience will adore you.

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Everyone knows that for Linda, this marriage involves taking on a child. All that mess, the sleepless nights, the temper tantrums. And she'll have to look after my son Stuart too!

The Groom who Took Advice From People

(An anecdotal speech that's lengthier than the norm, and has the theme of 'advice' running through it.)

When you're about to get married, it seems the world and his dog wants to pass on words of wisdom. In this speech, the groom ingeniously harks back to advice he's been given by people in the lead-up to the wedding. This gets laughs, but it also surreptitiously name-checks and thanks people along the way. It's a lengthy speech, but an entertaining one if you get it right.

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My best man told me the key to a happy future is good, clear communication – something he explained it took him and his wife a while to perfect. In fact they still haven't got it quite right – our wedding gift from them was two microwave ovens.