Groom's Romantic Insights

Marriage changes you forever. Of this there can be no doubt. But what were the Bride and Groom like before the wedding? How did their relationship work before he realised he liked it and put a ring on it?

While the Best Man's speech is there mostly for entertainment, the Groom has an additional set of responsibilities, for if his speech is to resonate, the husband-to-be must also offer up some interesting insights into his relationship with his new wife. Jokes and anecdotes which reference the flaws and foibles of romantic life act as a peephole for the audience, allowing friends, family and strangers to get to know you and your Bride as if they'd been a fly on the wall throughout your entire courtship. Everyone loves a sassy one-liner that seems to reference something hitherto unsaid, and as the Groom, it is your job to deliver these insights and let the crowd peek under the bonnet of your life before marriage.

  1. "According to some people couples become boring once they're married. But with Tori and I that's impossible, we're boring enough already. Honestly, you should see the thrill in her eyes when I come home from work, loosen my tie, unbutton my shirt and whisper in her ear 'Kate and Mike have cancelled, we can stay in and watch Bake Off alllll niiightttt looonngggg'."

If you really are a boring, stay-at-home couple then why not totally own it? The worst thing you could do here would be to make the Bride feel like you're tired of married life before it has even started, but the above joke implies that you also prefer a night of crap TV to a boozy soiree, allowing everyone to laugh together at your pathetic, cosy existence.

  1. "When Elena and I first met down the pub we were both heavy drinkers, but not anymore; now we're just skinny people who get pissed a lot."

The above line references how your relationship might have had a positive influence on both of your lives, while also hinting that you've enabled each other in some ways too. If the way you met your partner ties into your respective personalities, then it's certainly worth a mention. And even if it doesn't seem to bear much relevance at first, a little probing and prodding will often reveal links you never even knew were there.

  1. "Paula and I spoke online for months before meeting for a drink. Now apparently, only twenty percent of people who meet at bars or through online dating end up getting married. I think this is because most people in these situations are looking for something short, stringless and satisfying. I guess Paula must've been happy with two out of three. (Pull a string out of your shirt pocket)."

The above fact was nicked from this relationship website, and such articles can often provide moments of inspiration if you're struggling to find something insightful to say about your relationship. One of the examples given by that site is that married couples often save more money than single people, and whether this is true or not, this fact can easily be used as a springboard towards a smart observation.

Another way you can weave in some anecdotes about your life as a couple is to play with a few well-established myths. The example we gave earlier about couples becoming boring once they're married is a good one, but there are plenty of others which you could link in to your various personalities and habits.

  1. "I really hope that old adage about married couples taking on each other's personalities is a myth by the way. Don't get me wrong, Diana's perfect, and if I was half as tidy, driven and outgoing as her I'd be twice the man I am. No, what I'm scared of is her becoming more like me. I've met me. He's a knobhead. We can't have two of me in the same house. It just won't work."

If you're unsure which of your partner's traits should be highlighted during a speech, then clearly you don't know this person well enough to be marrying them! However, many dormant traits can often surface during the heightened emotions of a wedding and its planning, and this too can be used as a helpful comparison to highlight your wife's pre-Bridezilla personality.

  1. "The reason Karen and I get on so well is we're both as laid back as the other. If we notice each other checking someone out, we laugh it off and say 'in your dreams' or 'they're out of your league' or 'stop looking at my sister's arse'. And this extends to our home life too. To be honest, our house is a bit of a shit-tip. We were going to hire a cleaner, but neither of us could be bothered to pick up the phone. Things have been different lately though. I've noticed a change, particularly when it came to organising this wedding. Karen became obsessed, she made all the decisions; from the sound of the hors d'oeuves to the flavour of the usher's socks. And then she had the nerve to accuse me of being too passive, which to be fair, I couldn't argue with."

That last example works well because it informs the audience as to what your wife was like before the wedding and how she has temporarily changed. But such detail isn't always necessary, and if you'd rather keep your quips short and snappy, a few simple one-liners can do the same job as a lengthy anecdote - if placed correctly within the right context.

  1. "I knew I was in love with Rachel because I lost interest in my car for a couple of days. Now I divide my time equally between the two. It's only fair…the Merc was here first."

  1. "Everyone thought that we'd never work out because Dani and I are both so ambitious and competitive. We proved 'em wrong though, didn't we babe? Well, I say we…"

  1. "Some men may find it emasculating to earn less than your wife, but I quite enjoy our little role reversal. She brings home the bacon, I cook it for tea. She wears the trousers, I wear a nice little pinny when I'm doing the washing up. Hopefully that won't change when we're married, because I've really taken a liking to my life as a lady of leisure…and lingerie."

Pop those lines into a heartfelt speech and Bob's your uncle, or Frank, or Steve or John. To be honest, your uncle's name doesn't matter, but what does is that your audience feels amused and engaged by your brief little insights into pre-married life. Any jokes that make your bride feel uncomfortable or ashamed should be thrown on a fire and burnt - the point of this day is to celebrate of what makes you and your partner unique.

Everything is fair game if presented correctly, and even if your wife is a complete fusspot who can never make her mind up, this final example shows how you can turn a negative trait into one that illustrates precisely why you're marrying the woman sat next to you.

  1. "I learned early on that Georgie is as beautiful as she is unpredictable. One day she'll want a bacon butty, the next she's vegan. Today she'll like Coldplay, tomorrow she's got Polish EDM blaring out from her car stereo. A Greek philosopher once said, 'there's nothing constant but change', and I think he must've met Georgie in one of her past lives. The truth is, my wife is a wonderful chameleon. Each day is a new challenge and a welcome surprise. There is no one key to Georgie's heart; in its place, a password that always changes. Let's hope I keep guessing correctly."