The world's largest collection of

Wedding Speech Material

Our archive is packed with thousands of rip-roaring lines, hilarious anecdotes, tributes, roasts and toasts to help you craft a blockbuster wedding speech today.

best man speech archive

"Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - Before I start, let me just say that the formative years I spent in the company of the groom means that he had as much of a part in developing my sense of humour as anyone. So, although I have tried to make this speech as funny as possible, please blame Paul if it's not."

groom speech archive

"Good evening friends and family. I have been told that this is usually one of the only times in a married man’s life when he can be in the company of his wife and mother in-law and not be interrupted … I may be here sometime."

best man speech archive

"In my role as best man I tried to ensure the groom got a good night's sleep before his big day, so we had a couple of beers after which he slept like a baby ... and he kept waking up every half hour crying and asking for his mum."

father of the bride speech archive

"When Paul came to ask my permission for Linda’s hand in marriage I immediately wanted to know if he would be able to support a family. The answer was no! He was only planning to support my daughter. The rest of us would have to look after ourselves."

groom speech archive

"I’d like to thank Reverend Morris. Over the past few weeks Reverend Morris has been seeing Linda and me on a regular basis to help us understand marriage in its proper religious and moral context. I have also secretly been seeing an independent financial advisor…to help me understand it in its proper economic context. I don’t know who’s praying harder!"

best man speech archive

"A friend like the groom is certainly hard to find. This morning, for instance, we had to look in three pubs and a wine bar."

Basics

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Wedding Speeches Explained

The roster of wedding speeches typically begins with the father of the bride, followed by a few words from the groom and finally a comedic showstopper courtesy of his best man. However, in recent years a trend has developed where the bride herself also says a few words. Regardless of who is doing the speaking, the purpose of a wedding speech is to thank everyone in attendance, pay tribute to those who made the day happen, offer a brief insight into the lives of the newlyweds, and entertain the audience.

Wedding Speech Tips

Before you write a single line you must first decide on a tone and style which suits you, but also your intended audience.
Generate material by mining memories for anecdotes and sourcing quotes from family and friends.
Surprise the audience with well-timed jokes, wedding speeches that contain humour are more memorable.
An ideal length for a wedding speech is eight to ten minutes.
Throw in some relevant topical references, but only if they'll make sense to everyone outside of your group of friends.
Anecdotes included in wedding speeches should be amusing, but should not be cruel or cause offence.
Include friendly digs and optimistic remarks in equal measure. Don't just mercilessly make fun of the occasion.
Wedding speeches should not be accompanied by a video, they give the impression that the speaker is not confident.
Draw on the day's events for humour, particularly if the dad's a bit stingy or there's that one Aunt who always gets trashed.
Go out with a bang. Riddling the front row with an Uzi is one way to achieve this, but it's more acceptable to use your final line as a summary of the occasion.

Latest Features

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The Weeks Before The Wedding

See how the bride and grooms's neurotic thoughts in the run-up to a wedding can be turned into comedy gold.

"Wedding vows are a lot like New Year's resolutions, you know. Nobody takes them seriously, and you're pretty much guaranteed to spend the next 12 months just getting fatter."

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"I spent £1,000 to rent a limousine for our wedding and found out this morning it doesn't come with a driver... Can't believe I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it!"

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"I'd like to make it clear that we didn't meet through one of those online dating services. I met my beautiful wife the old fashioned way... Through alcohol!"

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"Gary thanked me for writing this speech before I'd even performed it - you're right Linda, he does suffer from premature congratulations. That's how you pronounce it, right?"

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Video clip of a brother of a bride giving a wedding speech for his sister

BROTHER OF THE BRIDE ROCKS

A best man weaves together a seemingly sincere tribute to the bride and groom. Listeners are expecting the kind sentiments to continue, but suddenly the story swerves.

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Tap into the world's most extensive and up-to-date offering of wedding speech content, featuring: clever ideas, witty one-liners, apt phrases and touching sentiment. Take inspiration from great speeches and use our database of contemporary wedding speech material and fresh topical humour to craft a personalised piece.