The world's largest collection of

Wedding Speech Material

Our archive is packed with thousands of rip-roaring lines, hilarious anecdotes, tributes, roasts and toasts to help you craft a blockbuster wedding speech today.

best man speech archive

"Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen - I’d like to thank the groom for his kind words and toast. It was touch and go whether Paul would be able to do his speech after yesterday’s accident… he was washing his new father-in-laws car and his tongue ran dry."

groom speech archive

"First of all, I’d like to apologize to my wife in advance for any misdemeanours that may happen tonight, not that I’ve said or done anything wrong yet, but that apology at least gives me some scope……"

best man speech archive

"When I was asked to be best man I was obviously very flattered. But then I realised I would have to give a speech, and that at some point during it I would have to say something nice about the groom. The problem is I've had very little experience of doing either, so please bear with me."

best man speech archive

"It's traditional for the best man to let the bride's parents know what sort of man their daughter has married. So I might as well start at the beginning, because Paul and I have been through a lot together – in fact, we were just saying earlier how glad we are that none of them have turned up today."

best man speech archive

"It is traditional at this point for the best man to extol the virtues of the bride and then introduce her to the less palatable facts of her new husband's history. With this in mind, I would like to start by addressing Paul's fondness for being called 'The Daddy'."

groom speech archive

"Good evening everyone, thank you all for coming. I must say that I’ve been overwhelmed at the size of Linda’s family. But despite what she said, I think you’re all alright!"

Basics

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Wedding Speeches Explained

The roster of wedding speeches typically begins with the father of the bride, followed by a few words from the groom and finally a comedic showstopper courtesy of his best man. However, in recent years a trend has developed where the bride herself also says a few words. Regardless of who is doing the speaking, the purpose of a wedding speech is to thank everyone in attendance, pay tribute to those who made the day happen, offer a brief insight into the lives of the newlyweds, and entertain the audience.

Wedding Speech Tips

Before you write a single line you must first decide on a tone and style which suits you, but also your intended audience.
Generate material by mining memories for anecdotes and sourcing quotes from family and friends.
Surprise the audience with well-timed jokes, wedding speeches that contain humour are more memorable.
An ideal length for a wedding speech is eight to ten minutes.
Throw in some relevant topical references, but only if they'll make sense to everyone outside of your group of friends.
Anecdotes included in wedding speeches should be amusing, but should not be cruel or cause offence.
Include friendly digs and optimistic remarks in equal measure. Don't just mercilessly make fun of the occasion.
Wedding speeches should not be accompanied by a video, they give the impression that the speaker is not confident.
Draw on the day's events for humour, particularly if the dad's a bit stingy or there's that one Aunt who always gets trashed.
Go out with a bang. Riddling the front row with an Uzi is one way to achieve this, but it's more acceptable to use your final line as a summary of the occasion.

Latest Features

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The Weeks Before The Wedding

See how the bride and grooms's neurotic thoughts in the run-up to a wedding can be turned into comedy gold.

"Wedding vows are a lot like New Year's resolutions, you know. Nobody takes them seriously, and you're pretty much guaranteed to spend the next 12 months just getting fatter."

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"I spent £1,000 to rent a limousine for our wedding and found out this morning it doesn't come with a driver... Can't believe I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it!"

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"I'd like to make it clear that we didn't meet through one of those online dating services. I met my beautiful wife the old fashioned way... Through alcohol!"

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"Gary thanked me for writing this speech before I'd even performed it - you're right Linda, he does suffer from premature congratulations. That's how you pronounce it, right?"

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Video clip of a brother of a bride giving a wedding speech for his sister

BROTHER OF THE BRIDE ROCKS

A best man weaves together a seemingly sincere tribute to the bride and groom. Listeners are expecting the kind sentiments to continue, but suddenly the story swerves.

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Tap into the world's most extensive and up-to-date offering of wedding speech content, featuring: clever ideas, witty one-liners, apt phrases and touching sentiment. Take inspiration from great speeches and use our database of contemporary wedding speech material and fresh topical humour to craft a personalised piece.