Father of the Bride jokes for weddings in Feb-2012
The best thing you can do to keep any speech relevant and fresh is to have a few topical jokes thrown in to the mix. These should all be related to the day and occasion though; this isn't your audition for Have I Got News For You. Whether it's a public holiday, a chunk of tawdry celebrity gossip or a football team getting an absolute leathering; reference it if it fits the bill. Our selection of topical father of the bride speech jokes gets an update more often than a Windows operating system. See, topical right? Kinda.
Displaying 17 topical father of the bride speech jokes
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Well, it's finally happened. After almost two years of one-sided decisions where the dominant partner's wishes took precedence, the underdog finally got his way. No, not David Cameron backing down to Nick Clegg on health reforms, but Alan's choice of honeymoon destination.
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I know one young man who's been on tenterhooks all week, terrified that when it came to the crunch, he'd be stood up and dumped at the last minute…… But it looks like André Villas-Boas is safe as Chelsea manager for a week or so at least...
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Well, following a mishap in the engine department, it drifted aimlessly without power, and was rescued just in time. Not the Costa Allegra, but the car bringing Gareth and his best man Tony to the wedding…..
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Sometimes, sorry really is the hardest word, and it takes a big man a lot of guts to say it. No, I'm not talking about Carlos Tevez of Manchester City. I'm apologising in advance for my dancing later this evening…..
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The new Sun on Sunday came out last weekend, giving us seven days of rubbish instead of just six. (i.for a sunny day) Fortunately it's the other sun which is shining on Diane and Adrian today - and long may it continue. (ii. for a grey or wet day) A shame we couldn't have had more of the other sun today - but at least the happy couple face a bright outlook for the years to come.
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'She's experienced the most extraordinary year a girl could imagine - 12 glamorous but exhausting months with hardly a moment to herself.' That's what they're saying about Adele, who won best female artist at the Brits this week. But those words apply equally to my daughter Christine, who's worked so hard to make today happen. And I'm sure you'll agree she gets the best female award today…
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There's controversy this week over Channel 4s Big Fat Gypsy Wedding documentary. Apparently Honda, the sponsor of the series, don't like supporting something with the words Big, Fat and Gypsy in the title. If they'd still like to contribute funding to a Wedding, though, they can contact me later….
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In the news this week, an elderly driver spent 19 hours going round in circles and heading the wrong way up a motorway - but not to worry, he still managed to get the bride to the church on time!
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Well, he took them all the way to Europe, their performance was a disgrace, and they lost all hope of further progress… sorry, I'm making a speech to the Arsenal supporter's club tomorrow and I've got my notes on Arsène Wenger mixed up with the ones for the wedding. (gathers composure, starts afresh) What can I say about Dave's stag weekend in Prague? He took them all the way to Europe, their performance was a disgrace, and they lost all hope of further progress….
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David Cameron is backing calls for a minimum price on alcohol this week. He's clearly never had to foot the bill for a wedding reception...
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Like most people, Amanda and Giles have spent a little more on their wedding than they'd originally planned. If they were in the Scottish Premier League, they'd be facing an automatic 10 point penalty….
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The country recently celebrated the bicentenary of the birth of Charles Dickens. Fittingly, we all have Great Expectations for Giles and Amanda. Let's hope they never fall on Hard Times - and I know they'll never keep a Bleak House.
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On a day like this it's lovely to see a woman who knows exactly what she wants and makes sure she gets it, whatever it takes. Yes, I'm talking about Meryl Streep winning the Bafta for playing Margaret Thatcher….
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I have a new nickname for my son-in-law... Rooney. That’s because by marrying my lovely daughter and joining our great family, he’s scored twice from the same spot.
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Gemma and Gary are escaping this weather and getting away to Miami on their honeymoon. As they’re flying from Heathrow, there’s even a 50% chance they’ll get there.
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I think we were all surprised to see Gemma get to the church on time. I believe Chris Huhne was driving the limo, and the chauffeur was only there to collect the tickets...
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2012 is Diamond Jubilee year, so as Gemma is queen for a day today, let’s wish her and Gary at least 60 years of happiness together.