Father of the Bride jokes for weddings in Sep-2012
The best thing you can do to keep any speech relevant and fresh is to have a few topical jokes thrown in to the mix. These should all be related to the day and occasion though; this isn't your audition for Have I Got News For You. Whether it's a public holiday, a chunk of tawdry celebrity gossip or a football team getting an absolute leathering; reference it if it fits the bill. Our selection of topical father of the bride speech jokes gets an update more often than a Windows operating system. See, topical right? Kinda.
Displaying 15 topical father of the bride speech jokes
-
This week the Hubble telescope provided images of the oldest objects in the universe, from which light has travelled the greatest distance ever recorded. Oh, and while I'm thinking about that …. a big welcome to Grandad Norris, who's come all the way from Stockton-on-Tees.
-
Lewis Hamilton is still considering whether to stick with McLaren for the new Formula One season, or to switch to Mercedes. Jane had a similar dilemma when she was picking a wedding car - it took her weeks to decide between white and silver.
-
Kate Middleton's had her troubles with the paparazzi recently, although I think they're making mountains out of molehills…. Jane apparently wants to be 'treated like a princess' on her honeymoon ... but any photographic evidence will be strictly between her and Dave.
-
They say love means never having to say your sorry, so I don't expect we'll be hearing any apologies from Dave or Jane any time soon. Unlike poor old Nick Clegg...
-
In the news this week, a British best man lost an ear in a violent fight at a stag-do in Portugal. When asked if he planned to press charges, he replied 'pardon?' Fortunately today's best man Dan has all his senses about him - as we can see by the fine job he's done at keeping Dave out of trouble…….
-
I'm sorry to bring this up on such a happy day, but Sharon's head has been turned by another. Yes, it seemed like true, undying love to everyone who saw them together, but I think it could be over. Now she's seen the iPhone5, her old 4S just won't do….
-
When they started going out, Dave took Sharon out to eat eight times, then on their ninth date, he took her to see the new Batman movie. So their relationship up to that point was dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner BATMAN.
-
News this week of a woman in the United States, who found a priceless Renoir at a flea market amongst the cast-offs and rubbish. And on a similar note, I understand Sharon met Dave at Loughborough University…..
-
The Campaign for Real Ale announced this week that 158 new breweries opened during the last twelve months. News of Dave's impending stag weekend had obviously leaked out in advance….
-
The crowds have been out in force to say thanks for a wonderful spectacle - and to offer their congratulations and good wishes for the future. And as well as the locals outside the wedding venue for Emily and Ben today, thousands cheered for the Olympians and Paralympians at the weekend.
-
It's like a fairytale - a real dream come true. There were times when we worried it just wouldn't happen, but deep down we had faith that it would all come right in the end. And as well as Andy Murray finally wining a major at Flushing Meadows, my daughter Emily married Ben….
-
As the father of the bride I feel like the elder statesman at the top table today. So perhaps I should take a leaf out of the Prime Minister's book - and get everyone to move two places to the right……
-
Now I know we're having a great time today, enjoying a wonderful event that celebrates all that's great and admirable about human nature, but I'm afraid it's time for me to spoil it all. That's what George Osborne said at the Paralympics last week…
-
Last week Britain saw another spectacular display of celebration, hot on the heals of the last one. And as well as Susan's hen night following Mark's stag-do, there was another opening ceremony at the Olympic Stadium….
-
Nick Clegg and the Lib Dems are hoping to introduce a one-off wealth tax, which would make the relatively well-off considerably poorer, and might make them consider leaving the country. Rather like paying for your daughter's wedding, then…..