Father of the Bride jokes for weddings in May-2012
The best thing you can do to keep any speech relevant and fresh is to have a few topical jokes thrown in to the mix. These should all be related to the day and occasion though; this isn't your audition for Have I Got News For You. Whether it's a public holiday, a chunk of tawdry celebrity gossip or a football team getting an absolute leathering; reference it if it fits the bill. Our selection of topical father of the bride speech jokes gets an update more often than a Windows operating system. See, topical right? Kinda.
Displaying 15 topical father of the bride speech jokes
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Last weekend we saw a disappointing show from someone getting on in years, as Englebert Humperdink came second-from-last in the Eurovision Song Contest. Tonight you'll witness a rather more impressive performance from a suave and sophisticated mature gentleman, as I take to the dance floor….
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I've been to weddings where an ex of the bride or groom has turned up and made things a bit awkward. Fortunately there's no danger of that today…Chris and Alice took inspiration from the Olympic relay and sold their old flames on e-Bay.
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This weekend, people have travelled huge distances to gather in an obscure place most of us have never heard of. Although they can hardly understand each other, they'll celebrate in a spirit of unity, making a hideous, crazy racket together. And as well as the Eurovision Song Contest in Azerbaijan, you lot have come to the wedding here in Bexhill-on-Sea...
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Last week the price was astronomical - and tomorrow it won't have any real value at all. But unlike Facebook shares, the money that was spent on this wonderful day for Alice and Chris has been worth every penny!
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The Cannes Film Festival comes to a close this weekend, but if you want to see folk in glamorous outfits smiling for the cameras, you're better off here than the South of France. Who needs Cannes anyway? I've always preferred my beer on draft…..
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They went to Europe, they played magnificently, and despite a few hairy moments, they came home with their heads held high. But enough about Christopher's stag weekend - let's talk about Chelsea beating Bayern Munich.
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This weekend, the Olympic Flame finally sets out on its 67 day journey around the UK. My new son-in-law David reckons that's nothing - he's been carrying a torch for Jennifer since they met in primary school…
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Last week a huge crowd took to the streets and massive security measures were brought in to prevent potential chaos. And as well as my daughter's hen party, Manchester City fans were celebrating too...
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There's been some unseasonable cold weather in the last few days, with snow falling on high ground. We may not have had snow today, but I heard something about a severe confetti warning….
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As Sharon and Carl prepare to go on honeymoon tomorrow, we were hoping to get a weather forecast for the next few days. Unfortunately Clarence House told us His Royal Highness was otherwise engaged….
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After a series of embarrassing incidents on their recent trip abroad, they must grow up and behave with decorum from now on. That's what Stuart Lancaster told the England rugby squad, by the way - it's nothing to do with Carl and his best man on their stag do in Prague….
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I may be a simple soul, but I don't quite understand how Holland(e) won the election in France. Next they'll be telling me Manchester City are likely to win the League…. But it's easy to see how my daughter Rebecca captured Simon's heart; I'm sure you'll agree she looks every inch the winner today…..
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After such a long wait, it was a huge relief to see that big posh car pull up outside, with its VIP passenger smiling and waving from the back seat. Yes, it was great to see Roy Hodgson arrive at Wembley this week…
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After the wettest April ever, the rain has continued this week with dozens of flood warnings for England and Wales. The Met office missed one, though - nobody predicted the floods of tears from Becky's Mum as she watched our lovely daughter walk up the aisle.
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It's great to see you all here today, and I speak for the whole family when I say we're enjoying your company. Well, we're enjoying it more than United enjoyed City's Kompany last Monday, that's for sure…