Opening line / humerous icebreaker

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  1. Ladies and Gentlemen, I have some bad news - after writing and re-writing, editing and re-editing, the very shortest I could make this speech is one hour and sixteen minutes. But donít worry, Iím not going to do the whole thing right now Ö instead, here are the worst five minutes.

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  2. This takes me back to the last occasion that I was called upon to say a few words at a wedding. It was twenty five years ago this December and it was my wedding to Lindaís Mum Carol. I recall being totally lost for any thing of any consequence to say. A feeling of total inadequacy descended upon me. It was a new experience to me. I was young and really knew nothing about being inadequate.

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